been long in touch wid reality

wellll.....yes d title sucks may be....but i strongly feel it tht way.........i think i lost my touch wid reality.....if i had wasted so much tym in trying to figure out wat am doing at this point of time....well if my mba entrance is so imp tht i shud not evn "waste tym" on missing my sis who jus got married......if my sem 5 grades where imp tht i cudnt spend the last leftover tym wid my sis as she was leaving me n going.........going to sum place far frm me n tht we cannot meet evn once a month....whom shud i blame........well cause ppl say ur responsible for ur own actions n deeds.......i din make many frndzz....whn kid i had frndz at school my best frnd was my sis......but we cudnt remain d same....as issues like i study well n she doesnt...took us apart.......i had to search frndzz out n she did d same maybe........well d point is..........whn i found d best of my frndzzz........i had to leave thm and shift to mumbai....whom ami supposed to blame.........it wasnt my decision i never wanted to leave hyd.......but i guess iam not old enough to take my decisions......aftr tht i n my sis wer frndzz again like really frndzz....sharing things.....roaming arnd i cud cry in front of her......but yet again she had to leave...n ya....sum mite say tht frndzz r for life it doesnt matter how far ur frm thm....yes i to used to feel d same.....n tht was d only thing tht helped me to shift myself......but thn it is jus not d same......evn d best of frndzz....whn u call thm u dont feel like telling thm ur probs....like u used to b4.......cannot cry ovr fone...or cannot ask thm to cum over jus bcozz ur gttin bored...cuming back.....d only best frnd i made my sis is gone n my coll is abt to end.......n iam gonna loose everything yet again............i miss my sis......but wat is it....whn will i b allowed to take my decisions...whn is nyone gonna ask me for wat i want.......wat i want to do...y is painting for a long tym considered to be waste of tym....will nyone help me figure out tht............well.....well if this is my-ve approach,...iam sick of being +ve cause i be +ve n end up wid nothin but disappointed maybe the tyms r gone wer ppl be gud to u......to sit n understnad wat ur sayin......calling a frnd u trust says i dont hav tym whn u really wanna talk n tht person wants to sleep.....n thr is whr i cum in touch wid reality.......wid which i lost my touch.....