i have no title for this just read once when you drop by

this note is for the people i come across everyday.....even you might come across them...not all those poor people have chosen such life for themselves i jus ask everyone to show a little generosity towards them...i dont say give them money..but surely you can feed a poor child when you find one....if you cannot do that atleast smile at them...at the least dont abuse them or beat them....i repeat they haven't chosen such life for themselves...read through one...and be generous your help or smile may not solve there problems but sure may give them a minute to rejoice..



Why are things so complicated
Were they meant to be so
I look at you and see myself calling
But my feet doesn’t rise and walk for help
Then I think if I was selfish
Or were they meant to be so

You asked me for a rupee
I offered you a chocolate
You smiled at me and I had my answer
That smile is something that still lies in my eye
I smiled with you and my day was made
But I don’t know what’s going to happen with you
Were it meant to be so

I see you everyday
Dedicated you hit that drum
You don’t notice anyone passing by
You don’t ask or you don’t plead
But there is something about you
That makes me walk to you
And feed you..you are blind
And you smile at me everytime
I return your smile unknowingly
And think maybe
It were meant to be so

Why are things so complicated
And so difficult for you
I feel the pain that makes me cry
I rage when someone hurts or abuses you
And then think were it meant to be so
Your eyes ask for some generosity
And stay disappointed all the time
There are a million questions there
There is something about your smile
Your eyes speak for you
But no one notices it
Do you think that things were meant to be so?
How would you even change things your self
Is all I think, when I look at you
I silently pray for you
And I smile at you
You always return my smile…
And I think
Why were things meant to be so????

some time at mid night.....

I sat there somewhere in the room at around midnight i dint know by then that it was mid night..i wasn't able to figure out things before I came back to my senses...stuck between a new day and the previous night at exact 12 i was not into the new day nor did i belong to the previous day at that perfect moment like that moment was asking me where do you think i should be placed in the day before or the new day...I had no answer, I was so filled with thoughts and various emotions and yet was feeling all empty and was still trying to find the answer to the question of that moment and before i realized the moment was gone. The decision was mine, I don't know but it really mattered at that moment what the answer to that question should be..then there was the real reason discovered from somewhere with in i wasn't trying to place the moment but i was trying to place myself some where in the past or in the future because at that moment I practically had no present...i thought of placing myself in the future...and everything seemed a little easy but then there was the fear that raised from the bottom of some part of my body very deep...my heart beats were suddenly loud....i couldn't see things working for myself..there was a fear and the age old question what if things din work for me.....i stopped thinking and tried to get out of those emotions then when my heart beats were normal..i tried to place myself in past...but then i was filled with emotions..the heart break the success the failures the lost dreams...and all seemed filled yet half or empty....then i realized that i was like that moment not able to decide where i belongs nor to the previous day neither to the coming new day....i was so confused and frustrated for not finding answers that i couldn't sleep...so i sat up and stared out of my window...i couldn't see anything cause I did not realize by then that my eyes were filled with tears and i had no idea how long i had been crying..In the dark i Looked at the void of my room and then outside the window to the filled world that was now silent and then i had a feeling that i was been crushed between them both i was getting outta breath n sweating badly and wanted to feel some air around me but i couldn't feel anything that moment punched a lot of holes into my heart and i was feeling the pain now and was crying even more.....i was devoid of energy to even wipe those tears and i had no idea the reason for those tears what were they about were about fear or end or emptiness no idea...i just hugged myself and allowed the tears to flow..i still cannot figure out what was on my mind that time...but this is what happend i lay yet belonged nowhere who was I that time...i dont know what was i doing i have no idea.......my crazy empty night..

n after that nighti was singing only one song by bryan adams...save me from another lonely nights....

MY LOVE STORY

I have always asked myself one question and that is pretty easy to guess for someone who knows me well “what is love??”
Is it the butterflies you have when that special person compliments you saying your eyes and smile are all he wants to have for life or is it the smile in your eyes when you see him everyday and still feel how awesome life is because of him or is it the pain you feel on his departure knowing that you are going to meet him the very next day or is it thinking about “is he thinking about me right now and if yes what he might be thinking” or is it the feeling you have when you have your first kiss and feel the same originality every time you kiss or is it that endless staring at each other without speaking a word and realizing “oohh my god its late I have to get home” or is it when he knows you cannot stay but while leaving he would always say “can’t you stay for a little longer and you end up saying I promise to stay tomorrow” or is it you sleep with him on your mind and the next morning you wake up with the feeling that “had he been trying my call is it too late??” or is it you get dressed in that dress he says you look beautiful in.. Or is it he goes a distance to buy you ice cream and your eyes search for him till you notice him with your favorite ice cream in his hand and you smile saying he knows so much about me. Or is it just you thinking about him and he calls saying “I was missing you”…..or is it when he says something stupid and you can’t stop laughing or is it every happy and sad moment you have you hope you could hold his hand and everything would be alright or is it when you have a huge fight and you know things are not going to effect anything because you love each other or is it that dancing when there is no music or is it that long drive with all love songs playing on the CD and you look at each other at the perfect time when ever that line is played and have that naughty smile or is it the feeling that one has that its raining outside and the smell of hot mud has just started spreading and you wish you hugged that person right there or is it that you can notice his perfume in a crowded place and spot him right or is it the feeling of relief when you are so much in pain and he understands it with out you saying a word or is it that when you are shouting at him for no reason he gets the insecurity you are having and doesn’t speak anything and listen to everything you have to say and in the end says “I love you” or is it that he knows how egoistic you are and always makes up in spite of the fact it is your mistake..or when he says you look beautiful even when you look horrible or is it that how much ever you try to hide that you aren’t crying and he holds you right there and gives you that bear hug you wanted..
Yes love for me is all these small and pretty things the most important small things..Which everyone thinks are lame and immature so I would ask these people what love is?? Do they even know it?? Or deep inside even they feels the same??
I don’t know if I’m being stupid because everyday I wake up with the feeling that today will be the day I will meet him and everyday I go to bed with the disappointment of not finding him but at the same time hoping tomorrow will be the day.. Yes it is really painful to have that hope over and over again but some how that is the only thing that matters to me to find that special person.. I sometimes even think what will be my morning when I have found that person.. what hope will I wake up with?? But that isn’t that scary to think about because everyday I will be falling in love with that person over and over again.. I will figure that out some how… all I want to say is that I’m not stupid I know and realize that these are very difficult things to have and I know that everything long term and everlasting is difficult to find and these are the small difficulties I’m going through everyday.. I don’t know if that day would ever come when I would meet that guy who would give me all these things and say I know these things matter a lot to you and they are all yours “I love you” yes I know I’m expecting a lot from him but if I wouldn’t expect this from him then whom do I expect it from?? If the person I love so much and who says he loves me so much cannot understand the basic things what I want then what is the whole point of our togetherness..

So this is my story of love till the day I would find my love who would change this story completely by holding my hand on that perfect morning showing me the sunrise and tell me that he wants to spend his life with me… and when I wouldn’t think but only listen to what my heart will say…because my heart beat will say every word that I want to say at that perfect moment I wait