some time at mid night.....

I sat there somewhere in the room at around midnight i dint know by then that it was mid night..i wasn't able to figure out things before I came back to my senses...stuck between a new day and the previous night at exact 12 i was not into the new day nor did i belong to the previous day at that perfect moment like that moment was asking me where do you think i should be placed in the day before or the new day...I had no answer, I was so filled with thoughts and various emotions and yet was feeling all empty and was still trying to find the answer to the question of that moment and before i realized the moment was gone. The decision was mine, I don't know but it really mattered at that moment what the answer to that question should be..then there was the real reason discovered from somewhere with in i wasn't trying to place the moment but i was trying to place myself some where in the past or in the future because at that moment I practically had no present...i thought of placing myself in the future...and everything seemed a little easy but then there was the fear that raised from the bottom of some part of my body very deep...my heart beats were suddenly loud....i couldn't see things working for myself..there was a fear and the age old question what if things din work for me.....i stopped thinking and tried to get out of those emotions then when my heart beats were normal..i tried to place myself in past...but then i was filled with emotions..the heart break the success the failures the lost dreams...and all seemed filled yet half or empty....then i realized that i was like that moment not able to decide where i belongs nor to the previous day neither to the coming new day....i was so confused and frustrated for not finding answers that i couldn't sleep...so i sat up and stared out of my window...i couldn't see anything cause I did not realize by then that my eyes were filled with tears and i had no idea how long i had been crying..In the dark i Looked at the void of my room and then outside the window to the filled world that was now silent and then i had a feeling that i was been crushed between them both i was getting outta breath n sweating badly and wanted to feel some air around me but i couldn't feel anything that moment punched a lot of holes into my heart and i was feeling the pain now and was crying even more.....i was devoid of energy to even wipe those tears and i had no idea the reason for those tears what were they about were about fear or end or emptiness no idea...i just hugged myself and allowed the tears to flow..i still cannot figure out what was on my mind that time...but this is what happend i lay yet belonged nowhere who was I that time...i dont know what was i doing i have no idea.......my crazy empty night..

n after that nighti was singing only one song by bryan adams...save me from another lonely nights....