Monday, May 3, 2010

MY LOVE STORY

I have always asked myself one question and that is pretty easy to guess for someone who knows me well “what is love??”
Is it the butterflies you have when that special person compliments you saying your eyes and smile are all he wants to have for life or is it the smile in your eyes when you see him everyday and still feel how awesome life is because of him or is it the pain you feel on his departure knowing that you are going to meet him the very next day or is it thinking about “is he thinking about me right now and if yes what he might be thinking” or is it the feeling you have when you have your first kiss and feel the same originality every time you kiss or is it that endless staring at each other without speaking a word and realizing “oohh my god its late I have to get home” or is it when he knows you cannot stay but while leaving he would always say “can’t you stay for a little longer and you end up saying I promise to stay tomorrow” or is it you sleep with him on your mind and the next morning you wake up with the feeling that “had he been trying my call is it too late??” or is it you get dressed in that dress he says you look beautiful in.. Or is it he goes a distance to buy you ice cream and your eyes search for him till you notice him with your favorite ice cream in his hand and you smile saying he knows so much about me. Or is it just you thinking about him and he calls saying “I was missing you”…..or is it when he says something stupid and you can’t stop laughing or is it every happy and sad moment you have you hope you could hold his hand and everything would be alright or is it when you have a huge fight and you know things are not going to effect anything because you love each other or is it that dancing when there is no music or is it that long drive with all love songs playing on the CD and you look at each other at the perfect time when ever that line is played and have that naughty smile or is it the feeling that one has that its raining outside and the smell of hot mud has just started spreading and you wish you hugged that person right there or is it that you can notice his perfume in a crowded place and spot him right or is it the feeling of relief when you are so much in pain and he understands it with out you saying a word or is it that when you are shouting at him for no reason he gets the insecurity you are having and doesn’t speak anything and listen to everything you have to say and in the end says “I love you” or is it that he knows how egoistic you are and always makes up in spite of the fact it is your mistake..or when he says you look beautiful even when you look horrible or is it that how much ever you try to hide that you aren’t crying and he holds you right there and gives you that bear hug you wanted..
Yes love for me is all these small and pretty things the most important small things..Which everyone thinks are lame and immature so I would ask these people what love is?? Do they even know it?? Or deep inside even they feels the same??
I don’t know if I’m being stupid because everyday I wake up with the feeling that today will be the day I will meet him and everyday I go to bed with the disappointment of not finding him but at the same time hoping tomorrow will be the day.. Yes it is really painful to have that hope over and over again but some how that is the only thing that matters to me to find that special person.. I sometimes even think what will be my morning when I have found that person.. what hope will I wake up with?? But that isn’t that scary to think about because everyday I will be falling in love with that person over and over again.. I will figure that out some how… all I want to say is that I’m not stupid I know and realize that these are very difficult things to have and I know that everything long term and everlasting is difficult to find and these are the small difficulties I’m going through everyday.. I don’t know if that day would ever come when I would meet that guy who would give me all these things and say I know these things matter a lot to you and they are all yours “I love you” yes I know I’m expecting a lot from him but if I wouldn’t expect this from him then whom do I expect it from?? If the person I love so much and who says he loves me so much cannot understand the basic things what I want then what is the whole point of our togetherness..

So this is my story of love till the day I would find my love who would change this story completely by holding my hand on that perfect morning showing me the sunrise and tell me that he wants to spend his life with me… and when I wouldn’t think but only listen to what my heart will say…because my heart beat will say every word that I want to say at that perfect moment I wait

2 comments:

  1. It seems that u have got it all figured out then y the question.

    To tell u the truth u freaked me out a little. U r full of commitments, sacrifice and stuff.

    Good for u. I hope u find that special someone, all the best :)

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  2. freaked u outt???? common i know all these things are really not practical....but whn u sit n think about love n life.....this is what i find n may be think about....milega milega dont worry.....

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